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Alcohol: Love and Hate Relationship

by May 10, 2018Updates0 comments

Let’s say that every day is one step in whatever direction we choose to proceed. Perhaps some days more conscious of a choice or bigger a step than others, but still. Before I left for my South America trip, I started drinking again after 4,5 years of sobriety. With that choice, I allowed alcohol back into my life.

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Nomad for

7 months

Location

Bloemendaal

Back to square one? Nah! I felt I could take that step because I had resolved the underlying issues I had with me; I made friends with my inner-demons so to speak. But let’s be fair, alcohol is still alcohol. Kryptonite. During my South America adventure I had a fair share of beers, wine and cocktails. Yea; I guess all the alcohol combined had a significant impact on my travel budget. Great times though so all good. No regrets. But then I returned home and got back to work.

“As I danced, I asked my SELF; is this really the course I want to be sailing?”

Daily encounters with colleagues who were interested in my travel stories and complimented me on looking good, but also joked around me having gained a few pounds. Like not just one person noticed but dozens did, us always sharing a laugh and a smile. It didn’t make me feel bad at all, but there was truth in what they said; I weigh in at 10 kilos more than I did when I left. Meanwhile I was back to buying .5l Heineken’s after each shift like I did back in the day. One at first but that quickly went up to two… for a 40 minute busride… why? I ask myself that too.

The second day I danced sober and had an internal dialogue with my SELF. As I danced, I asked my self; is this really the course I want to be sailing? If I keep going like this, what harbor will I reach by the end of the year, and is that indeed the one I want to be arriving at? I compared the pictures I saw for both these outcomes and the feeling they gave me. Like the captain of a ship looking at his map and compass.

“If I keep going like this, what harbor will I reach by the end of the year, and is that indeed the one I want to be arriving at?If I keep going like this, what harbor will I reach by the end of the year, and is that indeed the one I want to be arriving at?”

Things became clear to me and my SELF real quick; a course adjustment is in place. There’s nothing wrong with a glass of wine after a long shift at work or a shot of Jãger on the dance floor; but I no longer need these beer-drinking frenzies. Not at home and definitely not at a rave or festival. On a positive note I am eating fairly healthy and also sleeping quite well. So losing those 10kg’s (maybe 15) again shouldn’t be all that difficult.

Mission accepted!

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